primroseshows: made by me (nino: this is my sexy face)
[personal profile] primroseshows
So. I'm pretty sure I lost Aret's entire fic, plus all my notes that were in the same document.

Pretty upset about this. (Understatement.)

Gonna rewrite it; but it might take me ages and it's definitely not going to be the same as the original version. The thought of starting over from the beginning is extremely daunting to me, so I wrote a short ficlet to try to ease myself into the idea of it. Just thought I'd post it here, why not.

Has nothing to do with the original story, except the themes are similar. IDK IDK just let me get my frustration off my chest okay, it's like releasing pressure from a pop bottle or something, if I don't get something out I might explode, crappy as this may be.

ALSO, REMEMBER MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION TO "WRITE MORE THINGS"? OH YEAH ME TOO, KINDA


"People make mistakes like this all the time," Nino reasons, biting at his fingernail.

"They do, but we shouldn't. Shouldn't have, I mean," Sho says, and lightly knocks Nino's hand away from his mouth. "Stop that. Jun will nag."

"He'll nag anyway," Nino says despondently, but lays his hand back down on the rumpled covers. His fingers curl spastically; the cloth bunches up, loosens, bunches, loosens. He's as fidgety as Aiba; it's not what Sho wants to see right now.

Sho covers Nino's hand with his own and adds pressure when Nino flinches, just slightly. Underneath the thin, onion-paper layer of Nino's skin, is red blood, vitality, are the lingering traces of elevated body temperature and endorphins, is the biology that composes Nino, with which Sho's essence is now inexplicably intertwined. Cells of Sho, in Nino's body. It's still crazy to him. This whole thing is a fucking unbelievable catastrophe, but that doesn't make this -- this, here, sitting side by side with Nino, sweat cooling of their bare chests and shoulders just barely brushing -- any less of a miracle.

"You could--" Nino starts, then stops, because he notices Sho's eyes trained on their touching wrists as if Sho can count out and measure Nino's pulse from contact alone. Read Nino's heartbeat like a declaration. And Sho would. If he could, he thinks he would.

"Do you need more proof?" Nino asks quietly, just a bit sharply, and lifts up the blankets covering him. Pushes his left hand down low, in between his legs. Comes up with a few drops of white fluid coating his fingertips, and smears it across Sho's bottom lip unapologetically.

Sho reaches out his tongue to lick, never breaking from Nino's gaze.

He'd never liked the taste of come.

"This is not going to be a very well-kept secret," he tells him, and tries to remember the last time he saw Ohno Satoshi truly upset.

Nino shrugs. "We aren't a very well-kept pair of people."

And he slides a little deeper into Sho's bed.

Date: 2011-06-10 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blufox-o7.livejournal.com
Oh you. I can't even remember the theme I gave you anymore. I'm a bit of a scatterbrain. (My boss always tells me to calm down coz I end up rambling when I'm trying to explain something.)

"This is not going to be a very well-kept secret," he tells him, and tries to remember the last time he saw Ohno Satoshi truly upset.

I love that line a lot. And I'm not an optimist, but I'm stubborn so I'm not going to lose hope. Maybe some type of miracle would allow us to recover it. Idek. (As an accountant, I fail at ignoring the concept of sunk cost) You have tried doing a data recovery, right?

Date: 2011-06-11 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] primroseshows.livejournal.com
I did try it! It gave me a blank error message, so... idk. Then I tried downloading another recovery program, but it froze my computer halfway through scanning it. Every time (I tried three times). So... I think something is just very very wrong with my computer. I'm running a virus scan now, but it's slow going, and I'm paranoid the computer will freeze again. I appreciate your optimism though! I'll use it to write the new version. ♥

YOUR THEME WAS SHO/NINO friendship/becoming more/confusion because it was actually about the OHNO/NINO breakup/getting back together later/confusion and you wanted it long and realistic and painful, iirc. Still want this? Now's probably an ideal opportunity for you to change your request tbh lmao.

Date: 2011-06-10 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rinalin.livejournal.com
Awwww. This is really, really sweet and angstysweet and vivid.

...also? I would love to see a truly upset Ohno Satoshi. I can't fathom it.

Date: 2011-06-11 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] primroseshows.livejournal.com
I can't either and yet I tried to write it and I thought it was going okay! And then I lost the file -- sooooo maybe it is the universe giving me a sign that such a thing should never be brought into existence!

Thank you!! :)

Date: 2011-06-10 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maiaide.livejournal.com
Sorry babe. :( I know that sucks. If I could afford to take off, I'd come visit you and make it all better! :D

Date: 2011-06-11 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] primroseshows.livejournal.com
T____T I really appreciate that!! ♥ to you forever~

Date: 2011-06-11 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anoudegozaruna.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear about your lost fic. I can only imagine how disappointing it is. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.

And awwww, Sakumiya love.

Date: 2011-06-11 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] primroseshows.livejournal.com
Augh, thank you so much! ♥ Just this message was plenty to ease the heartache, tbh, haha T____T I'm pushing myself to get over it as fast as possible because I want to rewrite it while most of the story is still fresh in my brain but it is currently... not... happening. lol T___T

Date: 2011-06-11 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thevignette.livejournal.com
oh my god that's... ): why do these things happen.

i can't quite explain why, but i really like this bit: "You could--" Nino starts, then stops, because he notices Sho's eyes trained on their touching wrists as if Sho can count out and measure Nino's pulse from contact alone. Read Nino's heartbeat like a declaration.

Date: 2011-06-13 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] primroseshows.livejournal.com
ikr it's the worst. But I've gotten past the emo why-me-why-is-life-cruel stage and I'm just focusing on rewriting it now. I'll just take the whole mess as the universe giving me a sign that the original fic sucked so hard it was never meant to be read by others, and make this new one that much better, lmao.

Thank you! And I'm glad to hear you're doing okay! I hope you're enjoying your summer so far keke ♥

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