MORE (random) GOOD OMENS AU??? Sho the angel and Nino the demon and WOW POCKY YOU HAVE GREAT COMMERCIAL IDEAS:
"The horns are a nice touch," says Sho, because what else can one say when Nino comes striding into your bookshop in full devil costume and scares all your customers away with one sharply-curled, menacingly-innocent smile? It's 10 in the morning on a Saturday. It's the middle of June. Sho wonders if Nino is sweating buckets under all those fur and feathers and then he remembers Nino doesn't sweat.
"It's not a fashion trend," Nino says, leveling an unimpressed look at Sho.
"Then what is it? Making a blatantly unironic and therefore ironic statement?"
"Ha ha. Laugh it up. If you must know, I woke up like this. Apparently someone's trying to out me."
That's not surprising. Nino pisses off a lot of people. No, wait, it is surprising, because Nino pisses off a lot of people because he's smarter than them, and people who've tried to mess with him in the past have not gotten away unscathed.
"Who?" Sho asks warily.
"My best guess? Some brat named Chinen. He's one of yours." He makes a face, as if being an angel is comparable to having some kind of uncontrollable flatulence problem. "He's had it out for me ever since he discovered Oh-chan. Someone should tell the kid that jealousy's a sin."
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"I came here, didn't I?" Nino scowls. "Change me back to normal."
Sho blinks at him. "I don't know how to do that."
"You're kidding me."
Sho grins. "Yeah I am. I don't know though, it's kind of funny."
"Sho-chan," Nino growls, stalking up to him. His eyes flash red, and he actually has fangs. His horns are gleaming in a way that shouldn't be physically possible, under the sallow yellow lights of Sho's shop. Something dark flicks quickly, behind him, like a warning.
"Is that - did he give you a tail?" Sho asks, but it's clear Chinen did. A pointy black devil's tail, as if it was peeled from the most stereotypical cartoonish representation of demons in human media possible. Sho clamps a hand to his mouth, but he can't muffle all the laughter.
Nino bristles. His feathers actually shiver. That just makes Sho laugh harder.
"Some friend you are!" Nino says, and bustles out of the shop, tail swishing in irritation. Outside, a woman gives a shriek and Nino's voice yells back, voice muted by the distance, "What, lady, you've never seen an agent of darkness before? Hold onto your ugly kid's hand before he runs into a car."
Sho covers his face.
Nino doesn't come back for the rest of the day, but the next morning, Sho wakes up to find a few black feathers lingering at the edge of his pillow, and when he trudges blearily to the washroom, he realizes that there's a halo glued to the top of his head. Not like, a real halo, which They had abolished centuries back in an effort to make the entire Good department more approachable and personable. But a sparkly yellow halo made of pipe cleaners, a paper plate, and lots of glitter.
Sho sighs and goes to his closet for a hat.