Mar. 1st, 2011

primroseshows: made by me (Default)
Obviously that New Year's resolution I made needs a little more effort. Posting WIPs took a lot more effort than I expected because they are all still long things and long things need to be organized, and that takes time. It felt good to share, but it was also frustrating to me, like, "if this is never getting finished, why am I putting so much effort to post the damn thing at all? It would be easier to just let it gather dust in the back of your own mind." But I don't want that either.

I think the reason that it's taking me so long to write fics these days is that I no longer seem to have the capability to write a "simple" fic. "Simple" meaning a story with one central point to it. Nowadays, I've got to wrap that one central point in this frayed wreck of a plot, layers upon layers of fluff and linked threads and while this is actually what I like doing with a story, I realize that I'm getting pulled down by all of the process and I've still got nothing to show for it. Lack of time is not a good excuse anymore, because I should have learned how to manage my schedule by now (though I haven't, fmlll). I'm not productive, I'm not prolific, and it's driving me crazy that I'm not posting at all anymore. I don't like submitting unfinished fics and I don't like submitting fics I've written that I think are boring, but I feel like by holding myself so strictly, I'm degenerating as a fic writer. I feel like this journal is rotting, and I want it to be fun again. Cast off the shackles of past formality! Experiment! Don't like what you're reading? Tell me about it or click the shit out of that back button, I'm cool with both!

Anyway, all this to say that I'm now adopting a "Hey, why the hell did you write this? -- BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY" mindset. Still going to post WIPs when I feel like it, but I'm also going to write more new stuff too. Will probably be crap to the nth degree, but hey, maybe I'll finally learn how to write a real drabble.

something something destructive tendencies; Khunyoung; NC-17; ~1,400 words )

la la la it's not 12 if i don't look at the clock la la dee da

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